There is a way I have been holding myself back, staying small, playing in the box of conformity and sameness; while at the same time "believing" I am standing out, letting it flow and being my own unique authentic self.
The Truth is, while in the process of remembering, growing and expanding, a version of self has been running quietly in the background on a very persistent Hamster wheel. On every revolution of the wheel, a quiet little squeak sounded in the background subtly conditioning and reconditioning me to be quiet, don't upset the apple cart, they won't understand you, or accept you, you don't "really" know what you're doing, you're too much for them to handle, you'll stick out like a sore thumb, you don't fit in and why do you have to do everything the hard way?!
They all sound like really sucky internal things to say, right?! I mean, I am often my own worst critic and say some really harsh shit to myself. As a Heroine archetype, my anger is pretty much always turned in and on myself. When I'm angry at others, even that, becomes a very internal thing because somehow it's my fault or I tend to run and hide in the same box I'm so desperately trying to get out of or I become really rather mean. It's not my best look, but is the raw, unvarnished truth of how I have survived and come to where I am in this life.
This is a part of my Truth, which the I is beginning to fully embody. It is not all of my Truth, it is the beginning of my remembering all the beauty and light that lives underneath all those raw wounds and stories, those spaces where I looked AND still didn't really want to "see" what was there for me to find. All the genius, creativity and beauty which resides in the glorious gift of my being-ness is always in process, always changing, always mutable...inside all the darkness, all the rawness, all the hidden and unseen. Sometimes I'm in the box, sometimes I'm outside the box, the Truth is, there is no box and I get to play whatever character I want and it is exactly perfect, even when it is imperfect.
So, you might be wondering what any of this as to do with fashion, slow or otherwise, Brooke Wilder, bWilder, style, or any of the things you might find here. Well, it actually has everything to do with Brooke, bWilder and The Wilder World. As in life, I have been doing the same with the brand as well. Not really fully embracing who I (Gina & Brooke) am and what that looks like here in the Wilder World; AND which is my (our) genius, of the raw, the mutable, the changeable, the perfectly imperfect, the consistently inconsistent, the beautifully organizing chaotic mess that is me and my world. It is all very natural, very romantic and very dramatic!
Over the next ... some semblance of moments ... (I mean if you know me, I don't flow well with calendars and schedules) I will be moving into sharing, showing and living from my this truest essence; wide open, playful, deep, raw and unfiltered self in whatever way it looks. No expectations, no should's; when it comes it comes and when its ready to go, y'all, it will flow!
My mantras for the moment are:
I am committed to expressing myself fully and unapologetically!
I am committed to knowing, trusting and believing I know best!
I am committed to living authentically, however that is.
Terrified, and excited all at the same time, I can't wait to dive head first into embodying being fully me(us)! Be ready to experience Brooke in and with a Wilder perspective. I can feel the energy building!
As always, bWilder!
I am ... Gina et
